7 reasons not to mess with children

I received this e-mail from my sister, Lydia, and can’t help but laugh at each of them. My 24-hour morning sickness seemed to disappear for a few seconds after reading it. Laughter truly is the best medicine, if only temporarily.

  1. A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
    The little girl said, “When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah.”
    The teacher asked, “What if Jonah went to hell?”
    The little girl replied, “Then you ask him.”
  2. A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child’s work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
    The girl replied, “I’m drawing God.”
    The teacher paused and said, “But no one knows what God looks like.”
    Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, “They will in a minute.”
  3. A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to honor thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, “Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?”
    Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, “Thou shall not kill.”
  4. One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
    She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, “Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?”
    Her mother replied, “Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.”
    The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, “Momma, how come ALL of grandma’s hairs are white?”
  5. The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. “Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, ‘There’s Jennifer, she’s a lawyer,’ or ‘That’s Michael, he’s a doctor.'”
    A small voice at the back of the room rang out, “And there’s the teacher, she’s dead.”
  6. A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, “Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.”
    “Yes,” the class said.
    “Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn’t run into my feet?”
    A little fellow shouted, “Cause your feet ain’t empty.”
  7. The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: ‘Take only ONE. God is watching.’
    Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
    A child had written a note, ‘Take all you want. God is watching the apples.’
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Posted on 22 October, 2007 under Life online

14 comments

  1. Jewelle says:

    Oh ya, never mess with articulate kids – sure kena satu bijik.

  2. Wayne Liew says:

    These are a few reasons I don’t like children sometimes, they are NOTORIOUS!

  3. Blog Logos says:

    Those are great. I like the “They Will in a Minute” one. Hilarious. Thanks for sharing.

  4. ben says:

    The last lines are truly unanswerable answers (in Sabahan Malay slang, “teduduk”) πŸ˜‰

  5. zaini says:

    oo..bery2 funny one hhehe…i hope my future kid wont do tht πŸ˜›

  6. papajoneh says:

    Alamak.. gone all my comments. Lupa math!

    Anyway, just wanna say jokes plus kids sure havoc. Hahaha.. this is indeed a great sharing. Thanks. Good laughter is always welcome. What a coincidence, I also posted on 21st Jokes for you eyes only.. and all about teacher again. LOL.

    thanks for the laughter. Hahahaha. No.4 & no.5 top them all. Hahaha.

  7. SillyCats says:

    Goof Stuff! I needed a laugh before I headed off to bed!

  8. amanda says:

    Really great stuff here! Sure made me laugh this morning. Keep it coming!!

  9. Martha says:

    Thank you for this.

  10. redspace says:

    i love listen to kids talking about life. from their words they seems so pure and honest. if we really understand behind what they are saying we could learn lot of thing in life. thanks for sharing this.

    1. papajoneh says:

      I’m with you on this matter redspace. I just love hearing and watching them talk. They bring smile to my stressful life. I sometimes wish the kids won’t grow up πŸ™‚

  11. Murali says:

    Good ones. Enjoyed it.

  12. Steve! says:

    that was excellent. Well done!

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