-----Original Forwarded Message-----
>Date: Sat, 01 May 1999 20:07:59 +1000
>
>Subject: About Chain Letters
>Interesting Info about Chain Letters
>
>Hello, my name is Miles Tillinger. I am suffering from rare and deadly
>diseases, poor scores on final exams, lack of sexual activity, fear
>of being kidnapped and executed by anal electrocution, and guilt for
>not sending out 50 billion fucking forwards sent to me by people who
>actually believe that if you send them, that poor 6 year old girl in
>Arkansas with lung cancer brought on by second-hand smoke from the
>cigarettes smoked by the big bad men who kidnapped her and took
>pornographic pictures of her for use on their child pornography web
>site will get 6 fucking cents every time you send me the letter. Do
>you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you and everyone
>you send "his"  mail to $1000? How fucking stupid are you? Ooooh,
>looky here! If I scroll down this  page and make a wish, I'll get laid
>by every Victoria's Secret model in the catalog! What   bunch of
>bullshit. So basically, this message is a big FUCK YOU to all the
>people out there who have nothing better to do than to send me stupid
>chain mail forwards. Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come
>into my apartment and sodomize me in my sleep for not continuing the
>chain which was started by Jesus in 5 A.D. and was brought to this
>country by midget pilgrims on the Mayflower and if it makes it to the
>year 2000, it'll be in the Guinness Book of World Records for longest
>continuous streak of blatant stupidity. Fuck them.
>
>If you're going to forward something, at least send something mildly
>amusing. I've seen all the "send this to 50 of your closest friends,
>and this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow
>receive a nickel from some  'omniscient being'" forwards about 90
>times. I don't fucking care. Show a little intelligence and think
>about what you're actually contributing to by sending out forwards.
>Chances are it's your own unpopularity. P.S. Please forward this to
>at least 50 of your best friends!
>
>THE FOUR BASIC TYPES OF CHAIN LETTERS:
>
>Chain Letter Type 1   (scroll down)
>Make a wish!!!
>
>Really, go on and make one!!!
>
>Oh please, they'll never go out with you!!!
>
>Wish something else!!!
>
>Not that, you pervert!!
>
>Is your finger getting tired yet?
>
>STOP!!!!
>
>Wasn't that fun? Hope you made a great wish. Now, to make you feel
>guilty, here's what I'll do. First of all, if you don't send this to
>5096 people in the next 5 seconds, you will be raped by a mad goat
>and then thrown off a high building into a pile of manure. It's
>true! Because, THIS letter isn't like all of those fake ones, THIS
>one is TRUE!! Really!!! Here's how it goes:
>*Send this to 1 person: One person will be pissed off at you for
>sending them a stupid chain letter.  *Send this to 2-5 people:
>2-5 people will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid
>chain letter.  *Send this to 5-10 people: 5-10 people will be
>pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter.
>*Send this to 10-20 people: 10-20 people will be pissed off at you
>for sending them a stupid chain letter.
>
>Thanks!!!! Good Luck!!!
>
>Chain Letter Type 2
>
>Hello, and thank you for reading this letter. You see, there is a
>starving little boy in Baklaliviatatlaglooshen who has no arms, no
>legs, no parents, and no goats. This little boy's life could be
>saved, because for every time you pass this on, a dollar will be
>donated to the Little Starving Legless Armless Goatless Boy from
>Baklaliviatatlaglooshen Fund. Remember, we have no way of counting
>letters sent and this is all bull. So go on, reach out.
>Send this to 5 people in the next 47 seconds. Oh, and a reminder
>- if you accidentally send this to 4 or 6 people, you will die
>instantly.
>
>Thanks again!!
>
>Chain Letter Type 3
>
>Hi there!! This chain letter has been in existence since 1897. This
>is absolutely incredible because there was no email then and probably
>not as many little 8 year olds writing chain letters. So this is how
>it works.  Pass this on to 15,067 people in the next 7 minutes or
>something horrible will happen to you like:
>
>Queer Horror Story #1
>Miranda Pinsley was walking home from school on Saturday. She had
>recently recieved this letter and ignored it. She then tripped in a
>crack in the sidewalk, fell into the sewer, was gushed down a drainpipe

>in a flood of shit, and went flying out over a waterfall. Not only did
>she smell nasty, she died. This Could Happen To You!!!
>
>Queer Horror Story #2
>Dexter Bip, a 13 year old boy, got a chain letter in his mail and
>ignored it. Later that day, he was hit by a car and so was his
boyfriend
>
>(hey, some people swing that way). They both died and went to hell.
They
>
>continued to suffer in hell where they were both cursed to eat adorable

>kittens every day for eternity. This Could Happen To You!!!
>
>Remember, you could end up like Pinsley and Bip did. Just send this
>letter to all of your loser friends, and everything will be Ok.
>
>Chain Letter Type 4
>
>As if you care, here is a poem that I wrote. Send it to every one of
>your
>friends.
>
>Friends
>
>-A friend is someone who is always at your side,
>-A friend is someone who likes you even though you smell like poop,
>-A friend is someone who likes you even though you're disgustingly
ugly,
>
>-A friend is someone who cleans up for you after you've soiled
yourself,
>
>-A friend is someone who stays with you all night while you cry about
>your
> loser  life,
>-A friend is someone who pretends they like you when they really think
>you
> should be raped by a mad goat and then thrown to vicious dogs,
>-A friend is someone who scrubs your toilet and vacuums and then gets
>the
> check and leaves and doesn't speak much English, no sorry that's the
> cleaning lady,
>-A friend is not someone who sends you chain letters because he wants
>his
> wish of being rich to come true. Now pass this on! If you don't,
you'll
>
> be eaten by wild mutts!
>
>There. Now that we've covered and dumped on the four main types of
chain
>
>letters, onto the ironic part. In order for this to get any popularity,

>send it on!!! If you don't think it was funny at all, don't bother, but

>otherwise forward this sucker to everyone you know!! If you don't, I
>don't
>care, but why not show this around? Take two minutes and forward it.
>Thanks!
>Remember, the moral of the story is, if you get a chain letter, ignore
>it.
>If it's a joke or something, send it, sure, but if it's gonna make
>people
>feel guilty (i.e. the willieless boy from Baklaliviatatlaglooshen) or
>nervous (i.e. Miranda Pinsley who ended up in a waterfall of turds)
just
>
>delete it. Do yourself a favor, and everyone else in the world, and
say:
>
>"#$@% CHAIN LETTERS!!"
>
>Regards,
>
>p/s so after reading this, those of you who like to send CHAIN LETTERS
>or thinking of sending one PLEASE LEAVE ME OUTTA YOUR LIST
>
>thx again
>
-----End of Original Forwarded Message-----